Some couples who come to therapy are in crisis but many are not. Either way, they have usually been trying to resolve something for a long time,  through conversations that go in circles, through periods of distance, through attempts to let things go that have not quite worked. By the time they seek help, what tends to be present is not a single problem but a pattern: a way the two of them get stuck that repeats across different arguments and different circumstances.
That pattern is what therapy works on.

What Brings Couples to Therapy

There is no single presentation that makes relationship therapy appropriate. People seek help across a wide range of circumstances, including:

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• Communication that has broken down. Conversations that escalate quickly, or that shut down before anything is resolved. A sense of not being heard, or of the same points being repeated without anything changing.

• Emotional distance. A relationship that functions adequately on the surface but has lost its warmth, connection, or intimacy. Partners who feel more like housemates than a couple.

• Betrayal or breach of trust. Affairs, secrecy, or other events that have destabilised the relationship and left one or both partners uncertain whether it can recover. Working through this requires a structured process, not just a willingness to forgive.

• The pursue-withdraw cycle. One partner pursuing connection or resolution while the other withdraws or shuts down. This is one of the most common relationship patterns and one of the most painful — the pursuer feels abandoned, the withdrawer feels overwhelmed, and the dynamic reinforces itself.

• Life transitions. New parenthood, career pressures, retirement, illness, bereavement: transitions that place strain on the relationship and change the dynamic in ways the couple has not yet found a way to navigate together.

• A relationship that is not in crisis but could be better. Therapy is not only for relationships that are failing. Some couples come because they want to improve something specific, or to address a pattern before it becomes entrenched.

 

How Therapy Works

I work with couples using evidence-based approaches adapted specifically for relationship work, drawing on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

The starting point is always a careful assessment. The first session is 90 minutes and is used to understand the history of the relationship, the pattern you are currently stuck in, and what both of you want from therapy. This gives us a clear map before any active work begins, and it is also an opportunity for you both to get a sense of whether working with me feels right.

From there, sessions focus on identifying the cycle you both get pulled into — the emotional triggers, the responses to those triggers, and the way each person's response fuels the other's — and building different ways of responding. That might involve learning to communicate needs without escalating or shutting down, developing a different relationship to the difficult thoughts and feelings that arise in conflict, or working toward rebuilding trust and connection after a significant rupture.

I work with the relationship as a whole rather than taking sides. The aim is not to establish who is right but to understand what is happening between you and change it.

Format: 90-minute initial assessment, then weekly 60-minute sessions. In person at St John's Chambers, Stourbridge, or online across the UK via Zoom. Many couples find that meeting in a neutral physical space is valuable for the depth of work relationship therapy requires.

Affair Recovery

Working through an affair is some of the most demanding work in relationship therapy. The breach of trust, the disclosure process, the period of acute distress, and the longer work of rebuilding — all of this has a structure, and moving through it well requires more than goodwill from both partners.

Where affair recovery is the reason for seeking therapy, I work through this in a phased way: stabilising the acute distress first, creating the conditions for honest and safe communication, and then addressing the longer-term work of understanding what happened and rebuilding trust if that is what both partners want. The process is paced, and neither partner's experience is prioritised at the expense of the other's.

Why Work With Me

I'm Christian Hughes, a BABCP-accredited cognitive behavioural psychotherapist with extensive experience across NHS, military, and private practice settings. Relationship therapy is a significant part of my private practice work, and I work with couples across a range of presentations — from early-stage difficulties to relationships that have experienced significant damage and are uncertain about their future.

My approach is structured and evidence-based, and is adapted to the specific situation and goals of each couple I work with rather than applied as a single protocol.

I work in person in Stourbridge at St John's Chambers, 11 St John's Road, DY8 1EJ — a central location two minutes from Stourbridge Town station with parking at the nearby Ryemarket. I also work online across the UK via Zoom.

Fees: 90-minute initial assessment: £150.
60-minute ongoing sessions at £125, or 90 minutes ongoing sessions at £150.

Frequently Asked Questions

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• Do you take sides?
  No. In relationship therapy the relationship is my focus, not either individual. My role is to remain neutral and to help both of you understand the patterns you are caught in — not to determine who is right or wrong.

• What if my partner is reluctant to come?
  This is very common. One partner is often more hesitant than the other, or more uncertain about whether therapy will help. I usually suggest the reluctant partner comes for just the initial assessment before making any decision about ongoing work. There is no pressure to commit beyond that.

• What happens in the first session?
  The first session is a 90-minute assessment. We cover the history of the relationship, how the current difficulties developed, and what both of you are hoping therapy might change. It is structured to give us a clear shared understanding before active treatment begins, and to let you both get a sense of how I work.

• Can we do a mix of in-person and online?
  Yes. While most couples prefer the consistency of meeting in person, sessions can occasionally move online if work travel, childcare, or other circumstances make it necessary.

• What if we decide to separate?
  Therapy can still be useful in this situation. We can work on making the separation as respectful and considered as possible, including co-parenting if that is relevant, and on ensuring both partners are able to move forward.

• Can you work with us if there has been an affair?
  Yes. Affair recovery is one of the more common reasons couples come to therapy. It requires a structured approach and time, but the relationship can recover if both partners want that and are willing to engage with the process honestly.

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Next Steps

If you would like to find out whether relationship therapy is the right next step, a free 15-minute call is available to talk through your situation before committing to anything.

[Book a free 15-minute chat] | [Book a session] | [Online Relationship Therapy]