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Big Feelings Welcome: What a Green Monster Can Teach Us About Therapy


Therapists often talk about “holding space.”I know — it can sound a bit vague or, frankly, a little pretentious. But at its heart, it’s simple: holding space means showing up with non-judgmental, compassionate curiosity toward someone else’s experience — whatever that experience may be.


It’s not about fixing. It’s not about advice.It’s about making room for what’s real.


Why does that matter?

Because we live in a culture that teaches us to fight, fix, or flee from uncomfortable emotions.Feel sad? Cheer up.Feel anxious? Push through.Feel angry? Count to ten and pretend it’s gone.


The problem is — it doesn’t work.


In fact, research consistently shows that the more we try to control or suppress our internal experiences — thoughts, feelings, urges — the more tangled and disruptive they tend to become.We don’t get rid of them. We just get more stuck in them.


So what do we do instead?

This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers something radically different:Instead of trying to control how we feel, we learn how to respond flexibly to what shows up — and stay connected to what really matters.


We learn to:

  • Let emotions come and go, without needing to fight them

  • Notice thoughts, without getting pulled into them

  • Choose actions based on values, not just mood

  • Make space for discomfort when it's part of something meaningful


In ACT, we say: let the feelings ride shotgun — while you steer toward what matters.


The angry green monster in the room

Which brings me to the image above — a little visual metaphor that sums it up better than words can

.

Imagine you're the therapist. Calm. Grounded.And across from you sits a big, green, angry client — flailing, growling, making a scene.(Thankfully, in Funko Pop form.)


You don’t try to fix the monster.

You don’t argue with it.

You don’t push it out of the room.


You make space for it.

You stay curious.

You stay kind.

And you keep showing up.


Because it’s not about changing the monster.It’s about changing your relationship with it.


You don’t need calm to move forward

The truth is, you can feel anxious — and still do the thing.You can feel angry — and still choose kindness.You can feel overwhelmed — and still take the next step.

Psychological flexibility isn’t about feeling good.It’s about being free to do what matters, even when you don’t.


So whatever green monster shows up in your life —Try pulling up a chair.

Big feelings welcome. Tea helps.


Want to learn how to do this?

If you're curious about ACT or working with difficult emotions, therapy can help.You're not alone — and the monster doesn't need to be banished. Just understood.

Let’s talk.



Christian Hughes is a Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor, and Clinical Trainer, specialising in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, with expertise in Trauma, PTSD, and a special interest in Moral Injury.

 
 
 

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