Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is the natural consequence of loving someone and losing them, and it does not have an endpoint. The idea that grief should fade to nothing, that there is a finishing line after which you are supposed to be "over it," does a great deal of harm to people who are simply doing what humans do after significant loss. Sadness after bereavement is appropriate. It may last years. It may never fully go away. That is not a sign that something has

If you have ever been told to "just get out more" or "try to think positively" when you are depressed, you will know how unhelpful that advice is. Not because the people offering it do not care, but because it misses something important about what depression actually is and how it works. Depression is not a single experience with a single cause and a single solution. It is a pattern, or more accurately a collection of different patterns, that can look quite different from one